stephaniehaywood.com

_I am a female, technically._

I want to see your smile.
I want to feel your touch.
I want to hold your body.
I miss you oh so much.

I want to hold your hand.
I want to gaze into your eyes.
I want to kiss your lips,
Which should come at no surprise.

I want to be with you forever.
I want to laugh with you all night.
I want to share all our memories.
And never, never fight.

I know we are apart now.
I know it’s for the best.
I also know that you are an amazing man,
Who is different from the rest.

I am happy I have met you.
And honored to be by your side.
I still can’t believe I am the girl,
Whom you want to share your life.

I love you today for certain.
Tomorrow I will love you more.
I know we will be together soon,
Which is something I adore.

You know, it takes some getting used to, when your life is changed. My life has changed a little, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just different. I guess this is what breaking up would feel like, except I would also be carring around a broken heart. Obviously, this is the better route. I feel in a way, alone. Which is strange because essentially everyone is alone, yet, I have never been alone by myself. (If that makes sense) I have always been so busy, but not at the same time. I used to dedicate every minute of my free time to Noel, which I am not complaining about in the least, and I never really realized how much free time I actually had. Now I wake up on a Sunday morning and not have anything to do…

There are, of course, the things I _need_ to do, but don’t ever want to get started doing. I need to clean out my bedroom once again. I really need to get rid of all the clothes I tell myself I am going to wear again, but honestly never will. I need to clean up our once-was-a-dining-room, which has now been converted into: stephane’s-room-to-do-with-what-she-likes. Right now is a mess. And the huge ladybug tent I bought last night that has positioned itself into the center of the room doesn’t help. (The tent is adorable mind you) I also need to finish “the basement”, which is well overdue for a makeover. But other than _that_, I have nothing else I _need_ to do. Again, it’s an odd feeling.

I am also thinking about getting a weekend, job. I think where I work has greatly impacted my loss of friends over the years. Not that I am not a cool person to hang around with, because I am! (Hahaha) I say that because most people become friends through work, or at least some people do, and my jobs are not exactly the “place to meet people”. My office job I am surrounded by people all over the age of 40 with kids at home, whom I remind them of, not exactly the water hole… And then my other job I am teaching kids aged 5-18, and hanging out with your teacher is not only against school policy, but it is also just weird. So in conclusion, I think that if I got a job somewhere ‘hip’, there is a chance that I could meet some people more around my age group. Which would be a good thing for me.

I really should think about taking down this ladybug tent, as cute as it is, it is taking up the entire ex-dining-room. i guess this is all the rambling I will do for now. Don’t worry though, there will never be an end to my rambling. check back in a couple weeks, days, maybe even in a couple hours, if you want to hear more about my boring and uninteresting life.

This has been a presentation of Paul Harvey News and Comment. Good Day!

(Stay tuned for Paul Harvey’s: The Rest of the Story coming up next!)

Bottom line… I need a hobby.

Here are some of the ideas I have come up with.

1) Learn to cook.
2) Take a cooking class so that I can learn to cook without burning things.
3) Take a scrapbooking class.
4) Line Dancing?
5) Re-learn piano.
6) Join a gym and actually attend it more than once a year.
7) Write a novel.
Write a childrens book.
9) Write: The Comfortable Girl.
10) Take up drinking.
11) Start sewing.
12) Start quilting.
13) Learn Spanish.
14) Make a movie.
15) Be in a movie.
16) Open my own Subway resturant.
17) Become a Nun.
18) Learn all the countries in the world, and thier capitals.
19) Become an expert in politics.
20) Take up painting.
21) Take an art class.
22) Pottery?
23) Scuba Diving?
24) Learn how to write in calligraphy.
25) Create towers of food and photograph them.

This is all for now…

If you have any input, or any suggestions, let me know. What would you choose?

Stephanie