Archive for March, 2004

Sightings, Subway, and Surverys

Thursday, March 25th, 2004

Hello. I am at work. It is 12:00. That means 5 more hours and I get to go home. I woke up with a raging stomach ache today, and now I have taken it with me to work. I would get some pepto, because that “dose after dose of the pink stuff” really works for me, but the store down the street is only selling things that expired three years ago. It’s true. Do you remember when you could vote for the “new” color of M&M’s, well they are still selling those bags. I just know I would pick up the warm bottle of pepto, dust off the bottle, and open it to reveal a green clumpy substance:

A sick child says to her mother:

“Mommy i thought it was suppose to be pink, like on the commerical”

Mother: “Oh, well maybe that’s the new color hunny, like that new green ketchup you like”.

“Oh, okay” says the child as she drinks a spoonful of what is for sure going to be her last meal….

I am so scared to buy anything in that store.

So I have noticed that I am so used to seeing accidents around Ypsi and Eastern, that it is becoming an everyday normal occurance, like getting stuck by a train, I don’t even think twice about it as I mauveur past the smashed pickup that had just rear-ended a little echo. I always look at the person crying on the side of the road because their brand new “ride” was smashed to smitherines, rather than looking at the crunched version of their car, and wondering how it looked before that telephone pole jumped out in front of it while it was minding his own business driving down the sidewalk.

Well on the way to work I stopped to grab Subway. I have finally collected enough of the purple stamps to reward myself with a free six inch sub, provided I buy a drink. I step into the tiny sub shop and step up to the counter. It is 11:30, and I am the only customer there. Now I don’t know if they were practicing to enter into the “Fastest Sub Makers in the World Contest” or what was going on, but she was trying to make my sub so fast that you would think if she didn’t get the sub made in 1 minute the bomb will go off! And of course as all of you know, a sub made in a hurry is a very sloppy and unorganized sub. It is falling out all over the wrapper as I try to eat it, and there is enough mayonaise to drown a small hampster. Nevertheless I eat it, for it is worth the mess it is making.

I saw a new game I really want. It’s called “Scene It” or “Scene” or something. It’s a movie trivia game and it looks really fun. It comes with a DVD and you watch clips of movies and I guess answer questions about the movie and the actors/actresses in it. Dave and Savanna, do you have this game? Do you like it? I think it would be really fun. Knowing me and my up-to-dateness, it has probably been out for a year now and I didn’t know about it, but that’s okay. Please leave me a comment if you like or dislike this game!

Well I better get back to work. Austin and I have gone so low in our emailing’s that we are making up surveys for each other and sending them back and forth. It’s pretty fun for the bored type. I’ll post Austin’s here if anyone would like to read it: (Some of these are inside jokes, but I don’t feel like sorting them out.)

Full Name: Austin Douglas Haywood

How Did You Get Your Name? Mom and Dad (Dad’s great-grandfather, I think)

Birthdate: November 29, 1984

Age: 19

Favorite…. (List why it is your favorite!)

Color: Black, no.. maybe red or maybe green. I never really put too much thought into this question. Everytime somebody asked what my favorite color was I would say something different. I never decided on my favorite color. I guess I don’t have one.

Pet: Do you mean type of animal? I think that is what you mean. Of course, dogs. I think I’ll write some about how dogs are better than cats. I should have wrote my comparison contrast paper on that!!! Oh man, that would have been cool. Oh well, here goes. Dogs are better pets than cats. The only thing cats have going for them is there looks. They look cute and adorable. Eating and sleeping are there two primary concerns. They are extremely arrogant. Sometimes they provide nice company sitting on your lap, but it is not for your benefit, it is for there’s. The cat says to itself, “I want attention. I have not been appreciated as much as I should be. Some one should pet me, because I am so much better than everyone and everything.” They look at world as if they owned it. Strolling through their kingdom, head held high and tail upright, confident that all revolves around them. Forcing their subjects to pamper them, feed them, and clean up their waste. Some say that cats are more intelligent than dogs, but if this were true why are they so convinced of their superiority? Their life is a lie.

Dogs, on the other hand, have a better grasp on reality. They understand their place in the world. They know that man is the better being and spend their life helping him in anyway they can. They are self-less. Dogs will follow there master wherever he goes. Cats only follow there master to the food dish. Dogs comfort man and entertain him in times of sorrow. Cats sleep through it. Dogs will protect their master. They bark at the sight of intruders or threatening figures. Cats throw up on the carpet. Dogs save the lives of skiers stuck under an avalanche. They will dive in front of cars to save the life of someone. Cats sleep some more.

Place to go: Cabin, because it’s the cabin!

Car: Mine. Come on! Have you seen it after it gets out of the car wash? It’s beautiful. It shines. You can see your reflection in it.

Vacation: Road trip.

Candy Bar: Hmmm. I would have to say snickers. I like fifth avenue and pb twix, but I can’t eat those as often. I get tired of them after awhile. But I could live off snickers if it were necessary.

Food: Italian. Noodles, tomatoes, bread, and cheese. They took these four, simple ingredients and made the most delicious genre of food.

Restuarant: Hmmm….This is a tough one. To be absolutely honest, I would have to say the OLD wolf inn. I would go in and want an order of everything on the menu. It was all deep fried, greasy, tasty food. Plus it had orange crush.

Fast Food: Come on!!!!! Are you serious?!!!!! Why would you ask that?!! Perhaps you wanted me to explain WHY wendy’s is my favorite fast food restaurant. BECAUSE IT HAS THE BEST FOOD!!!!!!!!!! Spicy chicken sandwiches, golden fries, mouth watering hamburgers. What more could you want?

Store: I don’t like shopping that much. I guess borders.

Mart (K-Mart, Wallmart, etc.): I think I like K-mart better. Don’t tell mom! Wal-mart is very intimidating. It’s huge. You can get lost in wal-mart and die of starvation and they’ll never find your body. But k-mart I can handle. It’s not as threatening. You know where you are at all times. They also have a better cafeteria.

Ice Cream Flavor: I haven’t eaten ice cream in awhile. This is kind of like the favorite color question. I never put too much thought into this question. When people ask I usually change it each time, “cookies and cream, chocolate, chocolate chip cookie dough.” Those are my 3 favorites, I can’t pick just one.

Movie: Again, not very sure. Maybe Monty Python or Dumb and Dumber.

TV Comedy: Seinfeld of course.

TV Drama: X-files of course.

Cartoon: Hmmm…. This is a tough one. The Simpsons was my first choice, but I’m not too sure. I really liked animaniacs, tmnt and the batman cartoon. Family Guy and Futurama were good too. No, I’ll stick with the Simpsons.

Disney Movie: I kind of liked The Emperor’s New Groove. You know the one with David Spade, John Goodman, and Puddy doing voices. That was disney I think. I’ll go with that one. Count that one for favorite cartoon movie too.

Real Life Superhero (As in the batman movies, lois and clark, not a cartoon): The batman played by val kilmer and michael keaton. I didn’t like george clooney as batman.

Simpon’s Character: Police Chief Wigum. I think he’s the funniest.

Reindeer: Dasher. I don’t know why.

Triangle: Obtuse, because it does whatever it feels like and doesn’t take crap from nobody.

Sport: Football. America’s favorite past-time. Don’t let people tell you that it’s baseball, because it isn’t.

Cracker: Austin Peanut Butter. I make a fine cracker.

Bag of Chips: Lays Potato

Sub from Subway: Turkey with lettuce and tomato. No cheese, no mayo, no dressing. The person behind the counter has trouble accepting this. I had Subway for lunch with a bag of my favorite chips. Mmmmmm…..

Pizza: Pizza Hut Pan.

Dinosaur: I forgot it’s name. I think it’s stegosaurus. The one with the plates on its back.

Dinosaur Song: I’m trying to think of something besides the one your obsessed with. How about the Theme from Jurassic Park. Does that count? Elton John’s Crocodile Rock. The crocodile is a descendant of the dinosaur isn’t it?

Country Song: Alabama’s Song of the South or I’m in a Hurry or Charlie Daniel’s The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

Classical Song: This is like favorite song. I can’t give ONE answer. Bach’s Bradenburg Concerto No. 3, Chopin’s Raindrop Prelude, Beethoven’s Sonata Pathetique, Mozart’s Turkish March, Brahms’ Hungarian Dance No. 5, Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture, Pachelbel’s Canon in D, Rossini’s William Tell Overture, Grieg’s In the Hall of Mountain King, Dvorak’s From the New World Symphony. I can’t pick a favorite.

Rap Song: I don’t think so.

70s Song: Can’t pick just one

60s Song: Can’t pick just one

80s Song: Can’t pick anything. It’s all pretty bad. Maybe something by Billy Joel or Bob Seger.

Pop Song: No.

Band (And your band does not count!): I’m torn once again. Creedence Clearwater Revival or The Rolling Stones. I guess I can narrow it down to those two.

Guy Singer: If I’m picking just a singer, I would probably say Frank Sinatra. He’s guy a good singing voice.

Girl Singer: I am comfortable enough with my manhood to say that I think Carole King is a good singer. She is one of the few female singers that I might actually listen to…..on the radio.

Boy Group (Not meaning backstreet or N*sync, just more than one boy singer): Simon and Garfunkel. It’s 100% guys.

Girl Group (Same rules apply): I don’t think so.

Favorite Nana: Nana…….in Florida

Cat: Felix hands down. Felix was so cool. I remember the very first time John came over we were going up to my room and Felix was at the top of the stairs. John hesitated to walk past him because Felix looked kind of upset. Then John said to me, “Does he bite?” and I said no. So John started to walk past him and all of a sudden Felix lunged at him, bit him in the leg and ran off. John fell over after getting bit and looked up at me. Then I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Huh….I guess he does bite.” John was terrified of Felix from that point on. I don’t know about Boots. If he would just pick a personality and stick with it, maybe I would consider him. One day he’ll jump on my lap and let me pet him and the next he’ll try to kill me. I wouldn’t mind if he decided to hate forever, just so long as he would stop being nice to me sometimes. I just don’t like the personality switching. Make up your mind pyscho cat. Lucy has some mental trauma as well. She is very skiddish.

Bunny: I know you would like for me to say phoebe. I like phoebe. I like how when she is bored, she runs laps in her cage. But my favorite was probably Cocoa. Not just because his ears stuck up, either. Mom said in school she would put barriers to prevent him from running into other classrooms. She usually used those big cardboard legos. Cocoa didn’t fall for these, he would run right through them and knock them all over.

Guinea Pig (Out of the three mom’s had): The first one.

Room of Our House: I like the living room. Lots of open space and a piano and a comfortable couch.

Friend: John

Favorite One of My Friends: Noel

Why? Why not?

Memory From the Cabin: Moss land and giant hole

Lake: Superior

Favorite GIANT GROUND SLOTH: The one on our desk

Bridge: over troubled water.

Country: I don’t know. I’d like to go to Jolly Ole England.

Why? Cuz it’s supposed to have a bunch of cool stuff

Picture Up in Our Cubicle: Sunset at Lake Superior

Shirt: Gray Reebok

Video Game: Golden-eye for Nintendo 64

Old-School Video Game (Super Nintendo or Prior):
TMNT 3 or 4 I can’t remember, but it was pretty cool. I remember playing it with william. It was a two player game. You each picked a ninja turtle and and walked through levels together fighting the Foot. I was always raphael and william was michaelangelo.

Character to be on Mario-Go-Cart (Super NES): Bowser. Starts off slow, but once he gets going, look out.

Some day’s just start out bad.

Thursday, March 18th, 2004

I woke up this morning and got in the shower. As I was stepping out of the shower, my foot caught on something and I fell face first towards the sink. I almost had to grab onto the toilet to break my fall, that would have made the disaster perfect. Instead I caught myself on the corner of the sink, which left an imprint on my hand. I laughed it off and went to my room to get dressed. I first put on my underwear, then my shirt, then my pants. I put one leg in my pants, and then I put the other leg in……THE SAME PANT LEG!!! I had somehow placed both of legs into one pant leg. The really pathetic part is that I didn’t exactly noticed until I attempted to pull up my pants, at that point in time I saw the other pant leg dangling by itself. I realized that I either had three legs or something was seriously wrong. This is how my day began.

Little Known Facts!

Monday, March 1st, 2004

Courtney emailed me this today, and I thought some of the facts on here were neat to read about. Enjoy!

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska!
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% now get this…)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
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The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
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The youngest pope was 11 years old.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.
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“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
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Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.
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Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter “A”?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield, wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year?
A. Father’s Day
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Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
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Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
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In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase “goodnight, sleep tight”.
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”
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Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden…. and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.