TEARS ALL DAY
Sunday, January 11th, 2004THE FOLLOWING ENTRY WILL BE IN ALL CAPS AND NUMBERED. WHY? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.
1. I AM FRIST APPOLOGIZING FOR ONLY WRITING WHAT IT SEEMS “DEPRESSING THOUGHTS” ON THIS WEBLOG. I DO THIS FOR THIS REASON: THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO CLEAR MY HEAD IS TO WRITE. I HAD ALWAYS USED MY JOURNAL UNTIL NOW, WHERE I USE THIS WEBLOG. NOW IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO READ THE REST. I AM WARNING YOU OF IT’S SADDNESS AND CONFUSING STATEMENTS, SOME OF WHICH ONLY I UNDERSTAND MYSELF. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
2. I HAVE BEEN CRYING ALL DAY LONG, AND I MEAN ALL DAY. ONCE I AM IN A TEARFUL MOOD, THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE SAID OR DONE TO CHEER ME UP. THIS IS VERY UNFORTUNATE. IT MAKES ME SAD.
3. THE TEARS HAVE LEAD TO A SEVERE HEADACHE AND DEPRESSION. I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT I AM CRYING ABOUT (WHICH WILL NOT BE STATED). IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO KNOW, EMAIL ME AND I MIGHT TELL YOU. NO PROMISES.
4. IT IS WARMER OUT. NOT WARM. WARMER.
5. I DO NOT DRINK! DO NOT EVER START OUT A SENTENCE TO ME: “THIS ONE TIME I WAS SO DRUNK…” WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH MY FRIENDS TO THINK THAT I LOVE HEARING ALL OF THEIR ‘DRUNK OFF THEIR ASS STORIES’. KEEP THIS IN MIND ALWAYS.
6. I WILL BE 21 LESS THAN A MONTH, NOT THAT I AM COUNTING. IF I DO BEGIN TO DRINK OCCASIONALLY, DO NOT THINK THIS GIVES YOU A CHANCE TO TELL ME YOUR ‘DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS STORIES’, I STILL DO NOT CARE TO HEAR THEM.
7. I WILL ONLY DRINK PINK DRINKS. I LIKE PINK.
8. I PROBABLY WILL NOT BE DRINKING ANYTIME SOON. PERHAPS THIS SUMMER. PERHAPS NOT.
9. MY BUNNY HAD A TERD TODAY THE SIZE OF HER FACE. NO JOKE. I CANNOT FOR A MOMENT IMAGINE HOW THAT HUGE PIECE OF TERD CAME OUT OF HER. NOEL WAS WITNESS TO THIS, ASK HIM IF YOU DOUBT ME.
10. I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MOVE MY CAR OVER TO THE PARKING LOT AND WALK BACK TO MY ROOM. I DO NOT FEEL LIKE MOVING IT NOW. I ALSO CAN’T REMEMBER IF I NEEDED TO PUT MONEY IN THE METER. I FEEL ‘DE JA’VU’. HAVE I PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN ABOUT MOVING MY CAR? I THINK I HAVE. MOVING ON…
11. I AM GOING TO BE LONELY. I NEED TO MAKE FRIENDS. GOOD FRIENDS. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE THAT NEEDS A FRIEND I WILL BE THEIRS. I MEAN THIS! DO NOT READ IT AND LAUGH, THIS IS NOT FUNNY! I REALLY NEED SOME FRIENDS BY THE SUMMER TIME. SERIOUSLY. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. WHERE DO PEOPLE FIND FRIENDS??? IF YOU HAVE TIPS LEAVE A COMMENT. PLEASE!!!
12. I WILL PAY YOU IF YOU LEAVE A COMMENT ON HOW TO FIND FRIENDS.
13. I FEEL REALLY PATHETIC NOW. BUT NOT PATHETIC ENOUGH TO DELETE THE STATEMENT ABOUT NEEDING FRIENDS.
14. I DO HAVE SOME FRIENDS. AND I LOVE THE ONES I HAVE. DO NOT BE OFFENDED. I JUST NEED MORE.
15. I WAS THINKING ABOUT TAKING SUMMER CLASSES, EITHER HERE OR AT WASHTENAW. AT NIGHT MAYBE. THIS WOULD KEEP ME BUSY.
16. I DO NOT WANT TO CRY AGAIN.
17. I HELD IT BACK. I FEEL A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT.
18. I HAVE NOTICED I STILL HAVE MY COAT ON FROM WHEN I CAME IN MY ROOM 20 MINUTES AGO. I AM FEELING WARM. I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO TAKE THE COAT OFF THOUGH, BECAUSE KEEPING IT ON IS A REMINDER THAT I HAVE TO MOVE MY CAR. I WILL SWEAT A LITTLE WHILE WRITING THE END OF THIS ENTRY.
19. I FEEL BETTER AFTER VENTING OUT STUFF. I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT I FEEL MORE RELAXED WRITING MY THOUGHTS DOWN. IT IS ALSO FASTER TO TYPE THAN IT IS TO WRITE.
20. NOEL IS SPENDING THE SUMMER IN JAPAN. CRYING EXPLAINED. (YOU DON’T HAVE TO EMAIL ME NOW.)