i hate not being able to sleep at night. i would do anything to fall asleep earlier. i am considering sleeping pills. it’s not that i go to bed too late or anything like that, because believe me i have tried going to bed at 10 and the same problem occurs. i lay awake thinking things all night long and not being able to clear my head. and it’s not that i think about important things either, it’s that i think about stupid insignificant things!!! last night i thought i needed to get a new toothbrush, then i pondered which one to buy, then the color, who the heck “ponders” about a toothbrush at 4AM? me, that’s who. i used to fall asleep if i read a couple of pages in a book, now i can’t even do that, i have been starting to relate the characters in the books to the people in my life, and when you are reading a story where the wife cheats on the husband and a little girl gets killed by her father, you realize that comparing the two worlds (with my imagination added in for effect) i end up in tears. so now it is not only 5AM but i am crying about things that are never going to happen, ever, yet i still put myself in the shoes of the characters. now i have stopped reading before i go to sleep. did this work, no, of course not. i thought instead about my life, and phrases i see places, i judge myself harshly and make up scenarios that will are impossible to ever come true. this is the way my mind works. or curse ye, curse my wandering mind.