I have recently been informed that my REAL best friend has been offended by the title of my September 19th weblog entry. I had originally titled the article “My new best friend”, which created my REAL best friend to feel she has been replaced, BY A RAZOR. Then I began to think of what qualities the RAZOR possesses in comparison to my REAL best friend.
I have come up with the following:
1) Who can I count on?
the REAL best friend: she is there when i need her to support me, to comfort me, to help me, and to have fun with me.
the RAZOR’s argument: she is there when i need support in looking my best, to comfort me when i am feeling hairy, to help me feel clean and smooth, and let’s face it folks, this razor can be pretty fun!
2) Who costs more?
REAL: Well let’s add up the total cost thus far: A once a year birthday, christmas, there was a graduation, the gas money driving to and from visiting, the other spur-of-the-moment gifts. Add them up, times by seven, and I come to around…..oh let’s say $400.
RAZOR: The razor cost $7. One refill (containing 4 heads) costs $13. This adds up to be a total of $20.
3) Who do I spend the most time with?
REAL: Back to the addition board…….If we estimate around 1 week, or 7 days each month during the school year, and between 10 and 15 days each month during the summer, we can estimate to approximately 100 days out of each year that I see my real best friend.
RAZOR: Since I shower almost everyday, lets say that I shave every other day (This is just an example!!). Do the math and we find out that I see the razor at least 182 days out of the year.
IN CONCLUSION: I have decided to make my final decision on who my best friend will be. The RAZOR holds up a pretty interesting argument, I can count on the razor, it costs less, and I do ultimately spend more time with the it. Even with that said, I must conclude by saying that even though the RAZOR is great in many ways, it will never replace my REAL best friend. For one reason, the RAZOR is plastic, blue, has a scary blade and is not real. For another reason, I have known my REAL best friend much longer than the RAZOR, and I feel seniority rules over anything. For the last and final reason, I love my REAL best friend, however I do not love the hunk of plastic that I shave my legs with every morning.
In the end, REAL best friend, you have won, I have changed the title of the entry, to suit your liking.
P.S. REAL best friend: One major reason that I chose you over the razor, is because the razor doesn’t look a thing like a certain sponge that you remind my so much of!
I was touched by your entry entitled:”update”. However, I was so upset by the original artile entitled:”My New Best Friend” that I decided to take drastic measures. In the blindness of my anger I too acquired a “new best friend”:Garnier Fructis fortifiying 2-in-1 shampoo. now I know what you are thinking: How could she do this to me, and with the likes of a shampoo! But I ask you this: have you ever even met Fructis? Have you smelt the glorious fruit mist that surrounds you in the shower? Or felt the pure silkeness of your hair after just one encounter? Well have you? alas just as with life all good things must come to an end, and today I realized that I dont need a shampoo to make me happy, I need my best friend. Even if Fructis is there for me waiting patiently every morning, does she really care about me as a person? sadly I understand now the answer is “no” all she cares about is making my hair the best that it can be, but what about my soul? Can she make that smell good and look pretty? no only you can do that Ling only you….
so goodbye tropical scents of tangerine and mango, goodbye endless silky lather. my hair will miss you but my soul will be none the wiser…at least until tomorrow’s shower….:)